I'd ben preparing for this showcase night in spurts for days and days, and then I was frantically memorizing a sequence of bits. And then the emcee discombobulated me by interacting with my companion, who absolutely hates being the target of emcee banter, and I only partially calmed down before going up.

I forgot my bits and put them in later, I switched stuff around, I didn't hear nearly enough laughter to satisfy my inner critic, and I was so nervous. After I sat down, people told me I'd done great, and I couldn't believe they'd iie so barefacedly. I'd sucked!

But I can't watch my own performance as I was doing it, and I sure as rain couldn't quiet the never-satisfied inner critic, especially while nervous. So I will have to start recording my performances, as Joe strongly suggests, to review once the storm has passed.

Oh, and I ran to the restroom gagging after a comedian tonight told a quite gross joke. Whew, you don't expect that going to a comedy show. Maybe I should.

So now I have a much better sense (thank goodness) of the material I'll do for the Apollo finals. Exactly what I needed. Aside from feces jokes.