Blog by Sumana Harihareswara, Changeset founder

14 Nov 2022, 16:40 p.m.

Next Twitter Announcements - A Bingo Card

Since I was joking about this with two friends over text message about the poor decisions that the new head of Twitter is making, and I asked "Is there a bingo card?" and one said "You should absolutely make one!"

Presented for your amusement: a bingo card for you to consult as new announcements emerge.

Twitter bingo November 2022

A bingo card of poor decisions that the head of Twitter may make, but has not yet made, as of mid-November 2022. In PDF.

PDF version of Twitter bingo card

And, in case neither the PNG nor the PDF works for you:

Move Twitter HQ to Texas
Acquihire one of his other companies
Ban Unicode; Twitter goes ASCII-only
Premium members get multiple avatars
Sue Mastodon for IP infringement
Require personal loyalty pledges from workers
New head counsel: Rudy Giuliani model: pay to read each DM you receive
Each tweet is now its own blockchain
Crowdsource moderation with gamification
Users must specify a binary gender in profile
“Real names” policy
All-hands meeting inspirational speaker: Donald Trump
New Twitter-branded mobile OS or handset
Remove light theme
Sue users who have stopped tweeting
Require personal loyalty pledges from users
New head of public relations: Rudy Giuliani
Incite fans to harass @FTC
No more 2FA: “If you’re careful you won’t need it”
Health insurance benefits replaced by CrossFit discount
Ad buys get you git commit access
Move on-prem data centers to Sealand
New CTO: Rudy Giuliani