Blog by Sumana Harihareswara, Changeset founder
Fan Dances And Leafblowers
Hi, reader. I wrote this in 2009 and it's now more than five years old. So it may be very out of date; the world, and I, have changed a lot since I wrote it! I'm keeping this up for historical archive purposes, but the me of today may 100% disagree with what I said then. I rarely edit posts after publishing them, but if I do, I usually leave a note in italics to mark the edit and the reason. If this post is particularly offensive or breaches someone's privacy, please contact me.
The other day, Leonard and I were brunching with Adi. We got to talking about the little superstitions you make up when you're a kid, like "if the digital clock shows a time that repeats a digit 3 times in a row, you can make a wish, but you have to make it before the time changes."
I mentioned how, when I was a teen, and I wanted to tell a guy I was attracted to him, or make some other such irrevocable scary confession, I would look at my watch, and tell myself that I only had till the next time the seconds hand hit zero, or half-past. Then I'd blurt it out at that moment. Because I'd regret cowardice, the loss of that opportunity, more than the loss of face. What face did I have to lose anyway? "And, of course, I almost always struck out," I told Adi, laughing.
Adi didn't get it. "What do you mean you struck out?"
The guys almost never responded in kind, I explained.
And then I had it explained to me that the average teenage boy really doesn't know what to make of a girl directly telling him she's romantically interested in him. And he might stammer and deny and cut off the awkward moment, and regret it ever after.
The girl might think she'd struck out, but in fact she was pitching, and the guy froze at the plate instead of swinging.
This is a revelation to me. Seriously? I look back at all those tableaux, the community college bench, the bus ride back from the debate meet, I can't even remember them all. Am I now to rewrite all that narrative?
If you grew up a heterosexual male, I'd be interested in knowing how you've reacted to girls' interest in you, and whether frankness put you off. I've been straightforward about these things, thinking guessing games were a waste. Was that actually less efficient, in terms of throughput, than playing coy would have been? Crap!
28 Apr 2009, 6:41 a.m.
28 Apr 2009, 10:32 a.m.
28 Apr 2009, 11:51 a.m.
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28 Apr 2009, 18:48 p.m.
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04 May 2009, 14:43 p.m.