Blog by Sumana Harihareswara, Changeset founder

25 Jul 2003, 16:13 p.m.

Sometimes, when I'm trying to pacify the few (thank goodness)…

Hi, reader. I wrote this in 2003 and it's now more than five years old. So it may be very out of date; the world, and I, have changed a lot since I wrote it! I'm keeping this up for historical archive purposes, but the me of today may 100% disagree with what I said then. I rarely edit posts after publishing them, but if I do, I usually leave a note in italics to mark the edit and the reason. If this post is particularly offensive or breaches someone's privacy, please contact me.

Sometimes, when I'm trying to pacify the few (thank goodness) rude customers, I think I'm just enabling their bad behavior. I wish it were legit to say, "No, I'm not going to help you unless you apologize for saying that, and I don't care that you've paid us X dollars." Instead I stay calm and apologetic and explanatory, and sometimes they cool down and apologize, but sometimes they never realize that they've been jerks.

When I was a teen, and didn't like my dad's arbitrary demands, sometimes I flew into an obsequious fury. I would act as servile as I possibly could, to the point of parody and self-abasement. My dad could easily tell what I was doing and didn't like it, but he couldn't complain because, after all, I was only trying to be subservient, like a good daughter.

The other unpleasant thing people do to me over e-mail is tell me that they love my name because it's exotic. I feel like the least exotic person alive. I'm endotic.