Blog by Sumana Harihareswara, Changeset founder

22 Jan 2002, 10:13 a.m.

Yesterday my breakfast was leftover ommelette from Bacheeso's, an excellent…

Hi, reader. I wrote this in 2002 and it's now more than five years old. So it may be very out of date; the world, and I, have changed a lot since I wrote it! I'm keeping this up for historical archive purposes, but the me of today may 100% disagree with what I said then. I rarely edit posts after publishing them, but if I do, I usually leave a note in italics to mark the edit and the reason. If this post is particularly offensive or breaches someone's privacy, please contact me.

Yesterday my breakfast was leftover ommelette from Bacheeso's, an excellent breakfast cafe at San Pablo and Dwight in Berkeley. Today my breakfast is leftover sub sandwich from Extreme Pizza. I recommend both of these establishments.

Yesterday I hung out with Nandini, Matt, and Adam. We had dinner together, and then Nandini and Adam helped me move stuff to my new apartment, and then Adam and I talked till the wee hours of the morn. Well, only till 1:30, which is rather early for me these days. And then this morning I conversed with Matt and we commiserated about the tough breakup of Adam and Jeana.

According to Matt, I may be the only friend who's heard the substance of Jeana's story and Adam's story regarding the breakup. And these people have, it seems, very different stories. I feel bad, since I'm friends with both of them and I try not to have loyalties to either party. And they cared about each other, and any time a relationship ends that had potential for good, I feel sad.

But I feel especially sad in this case because of the miscommunications that have taken place. These are both intelligent, language-loving college students. (Adam, a junior, majors in linguistics; sophomore Jeana will major in folklore and history.) Yet, though they talk and they talk, in person and over e-mail and over the phone and in their LiveJournal weblogs, they don't seem to get through to each other. And when doubling and redoubling of effort does not yield success, then one must take a different tack.

My frustration makes me wonder whether Jeana and Adam should not just stop even trying to talk and listen to each other at all, since they seem to speak irreconcilably different languages. I almost always support more attempts at communication rather than fewer, but if people try and it doesn't help, then what's the use? Either a radically different strategy or medium might make a difference, or nothing will.

And they'd probably disagree with each other on that point, too.