Blog by Sumana Harihareswara, Changeset founder
"Spam Is The New Dada"
Hi, reader. I wrote this in 2003 and it's now more than five years old. So it may be very out of date; the world, and I, have changed a lot since I wrote it! I'm keeping this up for historical archive purposes, but the me of today may 100% disagree with what I said then. I rarely edit posts after publishing them, but if I do, I usually leave a note in italics to mark the edit and the reason. If this post is particularly offensive or breaches someone's privacy, please contact me.
Brendan, on whom I can count for occasional odd spam subject lines, provides the title. I worry about copyright sometimes when I post excerpts from spam, but then I realize I'm being silly. And then I worry as to whether or not I'm actually being silly. Paranoia aside, I present two spams, with commentary.
Please confirm that you would like 'Woodspiration' updates by Tristan Woodworks.
How is this double-opt-in? Maybe the first opt-in was someone submitting my email address somewhere else and this is the second.We have decided to add this 'double opt-in' system because some prankster decided it would be fun to add a bunch of people without their permission or knowledge. This event has led me to answer angry emails all week instead of carving. All I want to do is carve and share my work with those who can feel it and receive the light. Nobody wants more useless email, and I certainly have no desire to share my work and ideas with anyone who has no interest.
Reply to this email and type 'Yes Please' in the body and you will be added. Do nothing and you will be forgotten.
Derek Olson
Tristan Woodworks
http://www.SmileAtYou.com
Highlands Ranch, ColoradoWoodspiration? Not a pun. What is it? And why is SmileAtYou the domain for Tristan (triste = sad) Woodworks? I distrust the line about the prankster, but the artist wins me over with "those who can feel it and receive the light." New age hippies would never spam me, right?
The last line is the most chilling: "Do nothing and you will be forgotten." I have known this for a long time, but the warning from a stranger goes straight to my bones. Speaking of which, hey Kris, there's a thriller I stocked yesterday called City of Bones.
- This next one's from "Carrie White." Ack!
...It's especially good when one of these eighteen year old girls screams [deleted] out in pleasure, almost involuntarily....
I'm not sure what to make of the upper register (correct? help me, linguist Adam! You're my only hope! *flicker*) employed here. Either it's trying to appeal to an educated audience -- sort of the original Playboy concept -- or it's post-ironic. And when it comes to ignoring removal requests, methinks the spammer doth protest too much, and loses all my trust with "Just take our word for it." If they know I have a reason not to trust them, then they know they'll have to do better than that.Tara was extraordinarily naughty....
Don't want to receive our emails anymore? It's very easy to oppt out. And yes, doing so really will allow you to opppt out. We aren't just saying that so that we can put on the facade that we're legitimate advertsers, whilst laughing away, blatantly ignoring remvve requests. If you remove your name from our list, you definitely will be remm,oved. Your name will be marked as r,emoved in our email database, and you won't receive mail again. We don't really know how more clearly we can explain this. Just take our word for it. Otherwise, continue toreceive these emails. Now is your chance to opp,t out. Do so by clicking this
The fine lasses call out "almost involuntarily." I'm glad the spammer made that fine distinction between loss of control and lack of consent.
If I could find a web archive of Johnny Frederking's (segway888@hotmail.com) scary spam stylings, I'd end this post with it. Anybody know?
